Author: Garima Vyas
Fundraising Chairperson, AWIS Houston
Practice Director, Indigo Beam
February, 2025
Hi, I’m Garima, the fundraising chairperson for AWIS Houston. I have been writing blogs for AWIS Houston for quite some time now and today, I want to have an honest and open conversation with you.
Have you ever avoided a difficult conversation? Maybe it was with a colleague, your manager, or even a mentor.
We’ve all been there.
The fear of conflict, the worry about saying the wrong thing, or even the weight of being seen as “too assertive” can hold us back. But here’s the truth: tough conversations are often the most pivotal moments in our careers.
When the stakes are high and the challenges are complex, these conversations aren’t just important—they’re essential for growth.
A Conversation I Couldn’t Avoid
Years ago, I was leading a project with a small but talented team. One of my team members, a brilliant enginee, had a pattern of dismissing others’ ideas in meetings. It was unintentional (or let’s give them the benefit of the doubt), but it was creating friction. People were holding back, and collaboration was suffering.
I spent weeks wrestling with whether to say something. I didn’t want to upset them or risk straining the relationship. But the impact on the team was too significant to ignore.
When I finally sat down with them, I focused on what I’d observed and why it mattered. I said something like:
“I’ve noticed that in meetings, your passion for solutions sometimes comes across as dismissive of others’ ideas. I know that’s not your intention, but I think it’s making some team members hesitant to contribute.”
I didn’t stop there.
I highlighted their strengths and framed the feedback as an opportunity:
“You bring so much value to this team. Imagine how much stronger we’d be if everyone felt comfortable brainstorming alongside you. How can I help make that happen?”
Their reaction surprised me.
They weren’t defensive, they were grateful.
They hadn’t realized the impact of their behavior, and the conversation became a turning point for our team dynamics.
Why Tough Conversations Matter
Difficult conversations aren’t just about addressing issues. They’re about:
- Building Trust: When you address challenges openly, you show that you care about the team and its success.
- Creating Opportunities for Growth: Feedback is a gift. When handled thoughtfully, it can help others see blind spots and improve.
- Strengthening Relationships: Honest communication fosters deeper, more meaningful connections.
Sheryl Sandberg, former COO of Meta, once said:
“Feedback is a gift. Ideas are the currency of our next success. Let people bring you ideas, and let them challenge you right to the core.”
This resonates deeply with me, innovation thrives on diverse perspectives and open dialogue.
How to Handle Tough Conversations
From my experience, here are three strategies that work:
- Start With Empathy
Before jumping in, consider the other person’s perspective. What might they be feeling or facing? Acknowledging their intentions or strengths can set a positive tone. - Be Clear and Specific
Avoid vague feedback. Instead of saying, “You’re hard to work with,” focus on behaviors: “In our last meeting, you interrupted twice, which made it hard for others to share their ideas.” - Focus on Solutions, Not Blame
Frame the conversation around improvement: “How can we work together to make sure everyone feels heard in meetings?”
Turning Tension Into Growth
The most challenging conversations often lead to the most rewarding outcomes. They create space for understanding, alignment, and, ultimately, progress.
To the women in STEM reading this: don’t shy away from these moments. They’re not just about solving immediate issues, they’re about shaping your leadership, building trust, and fostering collaboration.
Have you had a tough conversation recently? What did you learn from it?
At AWIS Houston, we believe in the power of communication to transform careers and teams. Let’s continue to support each other in navigating these moments with confidence and purpose.
Have a story about a tough conversation that changed your perspective? Share it with us in the comments or at our next AWIS Houston event. We’d love to learn from your experiences.
Written by Garima Vyas, a seasoned leader in the product and tech industry, former President, and current Fundraising Chairperson of AWIS Houston. Garima is passionate about advocating for women in STEM and helping them succeed through self-advocacy, mentorship, and continuous learning.
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